Postmodern Security

Yes, I have become a security asshole. The one who says “no” to a technology. But I say it because of risk, and not just security risk.  And I’m angry, because my “no” is a last resort after many struggles with developer, engineering and operations teams in organizations that struggle to get the basics right.

I try to work with teams to build a design. I bring my own architecture documents and diagrams, which include Powerpoint presentations with talking points. I create strategy road maps explaining my vision for the security architecture in an organization. I detail our team’s progress and explain how we want to align with the rest of enterprise strategy and architecture. I stress that our team exists to support the business.

What do I get in return? Diagrams so crude, they could be drawn in crayon or made with Legos. They usually don’t even have IP addresses or port numbers. I have to argue with sysadmins about whether Telnet is still an acceptable protocol in 2015. I’m subjected to rehashed Kool-Aid about how some product is going to rescue the organization even though I found significant vulnerabilities during the assessment, which the vendor doesn’t want to fix.

And if this means that you hate me, fine. I’ll be the asshole. I’ll embrace it. But at least I can have a clear conscience, because I’ve done my best to safeguard the organization that’s paying me.